Others Successes are not your Failures

February 11, 2018

Intro: Hello there! So about a month ago, Ainsley asked me to write for her (amazing) blog and I agreed with so much excitement. I told her I’d have a post to her right away, but then I didn’t. I told her all these ideas I had, but I didn’t write about any of them. Finally, after exams, I caught a break in my life to sit down and write. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to share and I came to a conclusion. Here is the story about the time when I didn’t really like Ainsley. How fitting for HER blog.

 

Confession: Ok, so maybe that’s not entirely true, this post isn’t actually about this so called time I didn’t like Ainsley, in fact, this is actually about the time I was the most proud of her...but we are getting there.

 

The Good Stuff: I am unsure about how many of you know this, but Ainsley is a pretty kickass lady. She is smart, opinionated, passionate, and keen to learn and improve the world around her. We have never been extremely close, but starting in 8th grade, I feel, we really started to push each other to do more and achieve more. By our grade 10 year, Ainsley had truly taken off. She had found of an interest in politics and women’s rights, a interest that could have existed long before then but I didn’t notice it in the same way. 2017 was the year of experiences for her (read about it on her blog), and trust me when I say, I was a proud little mom. Seeing her face at various events, from WE Day to sitting in the Prime Minister’s chair, I was truly in awe. Ainsley showed me a new kind of door that was open to youth, that is if you were brave enough to step through it.

Though I was seeing Ainsley achieve many things, I started to see myself NOT achieving very many things instead. When I saw a new instagram post, I saw my face not there, instead of her face there. When I saw her write about her opinion, I saw a lack of my opinion, instead of applauding her bravery. When I saw her traveling, I saw me being comfortable with my surroundings, instead of asking her how her trip was. I tried so hard to be supportive, but these thoughts came up in everything I saw. Soon, I decided that since I am a person who needs to talk things out, I texted one of my good friends Amy. I told her about my situation and how I wanted so badly to be supportive but I was finding it so much harder than I use to be. Amy then gave one of the best pieces of advice, she said:

 

“People will have high points in their life. They will also have low points. So will you. Life is not always a steady increase of incredible things. So don’t expect that. Plus not everyone’s version of incredible things is the same. Just because some people are millionaires by my age, doesn’t mean I am not doing incredible things as well. I can’t measure my own success by comparing it to others.”

 

The last line really stuck with me. It’s not that I wasn’t aware of that already, it was more that I needed the reminder. In that moment, I found a new peace with others’ achievements. I realized that Ainsley was doing some cool things but that she was also going through lows and I needed to be there to support her in both. I was also reminded that comparison kills. This is a lesson I have to remind myself of everyday, and like most things, it is a journey. Some days I get really down on myself, but I am proud of where I am. I am motivated by Ainsley to keep moving forward, that age is just a number, and that spreading love isn’t always easy but it is what this world needs.

 

My Message: Support each other, lean on each other, and push each other to achieve success, whatever that means to you, there is no definition. Others’ successes are not your failures.

 


 

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